Squadron Leaders
Squadron Leaders
Dirty Brighton Surf
Squadron Leaders

Bio and other random stuff

Instrumental Surf band from Brighton, England. Released their first full length LP 'In which we Surf' on Largactil Shuffle records in 2010. They were featured in the Seamonsters compilations 1, 2, and 3 on

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Squadron Leader Vincent Shitstorm

Born with three anuses, Squadron Leader Vincent Shitstorm was always an outsider. His rise to fight the Swiss in WW3 was challenging as well as unexpected. The British Air Force had to change the cockpit design of their aircraft to accomodate Shitstorms two extra anuses which meant other pilots now had room for a co-pilot. His school days were difficult. Being able to break wind in D minor was of no benefit when the older boys put 3 pairs of pants on him so they could administer a "full wedgy". When his penis was cut off in a freak thresher accident at the age of 12, his hopes of a normal life seemed slim. Pissing like a garden sprinkler and shitting like three Great Danes did not prove to be a hit with the girls at his school. The only girl who seemed interested in him was called Sliippy Vagcoleslaw. She had a limp, one green eye, one red eye and a smelly fanny. Still Shitstorm did not have many other offers and the two of them hit it off. Sliippy encouraged Vincent to pursue his dream of flight. Indeed, with his three anuses, after a curry he could hover for three or four minutes (though the room was normally cleared well before his flight came to an end). This, and Sliippy, convinced Vincent to join the Air Force. His first day was difficult. His nervousness meant that he broke the sound barrier on his first day but he did not need to leave the canteen. His luck changed however as he showed the others his flying skills. His comanding officers suggested that he should join the Red Arrows. In fairness, this was due to the fact that Vincents arses smelt like Jordans fanny after a Saturday night at Stringfellows and he could also leave vapour trails without aid of a plane. The war against the Swiss started suddenly. When the Swiss Ambassador shat on the UK Prime Ministers shoes when a UN party got out of hand, the seeds were sown. Three short weeks later, war was declared and the Swiss and NATO began war. Shitstorm was sent on one of the first sorties to bomb the Swiss cheese factories. It was the last flight Vincent would ever undertake for the airforce. Hoe was shot down over Bern and had to parachute from his flaming steed. Luckily his three anuses allowed him to float to the ground gently when he parachute failed to deploy. However his problems had only just begun.

Act 2…………..

As Vincent’s anus now had worldwide recognition, Kim Jon-Ell-And-Mushy-Peas saw his chance.

He could use Vincent to get a meeting with President Trump!

Mushy-Peas spent the next 10 years forcing his scientists to control and harness Vincent’s anus for evil. And if not that, then Elvis. They held out little hope for this however. They were pretty sure Elvis was dead. Finally, Peas head scientist, John Fried-Rice-With-Noodles burst into Peas hideout (with scorched eyebrows and serious nasal issues) and shouted:

“Fuck me you tiny twat. That fucking wanker you sent us who keeps farting has finally produce something we can use a weapon. You cunt. And fucking sort your hair out, what fucking year is this? For fucks sake. Wanker. So you can finally phone that bloated puss ball in America and say you can hit Hawaii with a fart bomb so bad he will never be able to play golf there again. And just to reiterate, you are a cunt. And your hair is shite. Knobhead”

With this news, Kim put another 8 gallons of grease in his hair and pushed his trundle tod aside. He was a big boy now!

All he had to do was prepare for his meeting with Trump. What size carrot should he stick down his trousers he thought ?.....


Band Members

  • Stephen Humphrey Grayson Fagan-Guitar
  • Kerry Winston Montgomery Wilson-Sax
  • Paul Edmond Theodore Dilley-Drums
  • Becky Killnurse Fagan-Bass

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